The ball has started rolling. This is the other blog Lynda and I have started that will hopefully help promote my gamer theme clothing plus other gamer art and such.
Bitches With Controllers
I've just made our first post. Feel free to have a look.
28 December 2009
20 December 2009
Been a few days...
I really can't wait for the holidays to be over. The only day I have off this week is Christmas. Even have to be in early on Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. One of the worst things about working retail, especially during the holidays, is you really see the greedy, ungrateful, impatient side of people. It's a constant reminder that no matter what you do, you can't please people. Tho, I've dealt with that bullshit so much in my everyday life all my life I'm thinking of getting a welcome mat tattooed on my back. Retail is just a knife twisting reminder of that. Which is one of the reasons it's making me so fucking insane.
But it just makes you wonder why the fuck you even bother to help or try to help. It's kind of a no brainer as to why there are hardly and caring and helpful people anymore. They were the ones smart enough to just said "Fuck it! I'm not putting up with this bullshit anymore!" Then you have people like me that seem to like the punishment and go just keep going back for more even tho you just keep getting burnt, walked over and stabbed in the back. I had a discussion about this with a friend once. We both agreed it's the fact that we can't stand the thought of letting someone we love down. We know what it's like to not have people there for us and how shitty it feels. So we don't wanna do that to others. We are the ones that seem to still honour the Golden Rule.
Honestly... you see the worst side of human nature in retail. And that brings you down even worse, especially when you have to put up with that shit everyday.
But it just makes you wonder why the fuck you even bother to help or try to help. It's kind of a no brainer as to why there are hardly and caring and helpful people anymore. They were the ones smart enough to just said "Fuck it! I'm not putting up with this bullshit anymore!" Then you have people like me that seem to like the punishment and go just keep going back for more even tho you just keep getting burnt, walked over and stabbed in the back. I had a discussion about this with a friend once. We both agreed it's the fact that we can't stand the thought of letting someone we love down. We know what it's like to not have people there for us and how shitty it feels. So we don't wanna do that to others. We are the ones that seem to still honour the Golden Rule.
Honestly... you see the worst side of human nature in retail. And that brings you down even worse, especially when you have to put up with that shit everyday.
15 December 2009
Come together....
Well, I think I finally figured out what my sewing path should be... Gaming themed clothing. See, I love video games. I have been gaming since... well... since I could hold a controller. Atari 2600... that was my first gaming system. And it just progressed from there. So, I plan to bring the two worlds together. I already got some designs down. I spent yesterday sketching and working out some pattern details. I plan on having a go at a prototype of one of them today.
My sister Lynda and I have also had another idea that will tie in with this. We thought, You know... there is no real voice for girls that game. So, we started a blog called Bitches with Controllers. We'll just talk, rant and reminisce about gaming and all the aspects of the gaming world. And, to go with that, I can promote my clothing and possible sell it. So, I have my target market. Gamers chicks.... and it's a fairly big market and doesn't seem to be touched too much... especially for what I have in mind. So I'm hoping to get a nice fan base with this. I think it will satisfy a lot of the goals/aspects I wanted to get out of my sewing career that I wasn't sure how I was gonna achieve. All these scattered thoughts and ideas I have seem to be falling into place at the mo. Let's hope it stays that way and it all works out.
The still major loose end is the whole getting out of my job thing. I have put in an application at Gamestop. Yes, it's STILL retail, I know. BUT, it's a lesser of the evils for one, plus... it's gaming. It's something I'm into, know a lot more about and care a shit load more about then a fucking store front of a pharmacy. At least I'd have some common ground with the customers I deal with as well. And if I can do it just for now until my clothing gets off the ground. I can book it and go with that full time.
Another good thing that has happened is after about a year and a half mum has FINALLY found another job. WOOOT! But, it makes me think... I wonder if it's a sign that I should just leave my job because, she needs a ride back and forth to work. Would we kinda got worked out, but if I was at home all the time, working on the sewing thing and not at this job. I'd be home and available to pick her up when she needed me. So I can't help to think it's a sign. Just makes me wonder.
My sister Lynda and I have also had another idea that will tie in with this. We thought, You know... there is no real voice for girls that game. So, we started a blog called Bitches with Controllers. We'll just talk, rant and reminisce about gaming and all the aspects of the gaming world. And, to go with that, I can promote my clothing and possible sell it. So, I have my target market. Gamers chicks.... and it's a fairly big market and doesn't seem to be touched too much... especially for what I have in mind. So I'm hoping to get a nice fan base with this. I think it will satisfy a lot of the goals/aspects I wanted to get out of my sewing career that I wasn't sure how I was gonna achieve. All these scattered thoughts and ideas I have seem to be falling into place at the mo. Let's hope it stays that way and it all works out.
The still major loose end is the whole getting out of my job thing. I have put in an application at Gamestop. Yes, it's STILL retail, I know. BUT, it's a lesser of the evils for one, plus... it's gaming. It's something I'm into, know a lot more about and care a shit load more about then a fucking store front of a pharmacy. At least I'd have some common ground with the customers I deal with as well. And if I can do it just for now until my clothing gets off the ground. I can book it and go with that full time.
Another good thing that has happened is after about a year and a half mum has FINALLY found another job. WOOOT! But, it makes me think... I wonder if it's a sign that I should just leave my job because, she needs a ride back and forth to work. Would we kinda got worked out, but if I was at home all the time, working on the sewing thing and not at this job. I'd be home and available to pick her up when she needed me. So I can't help to think it's a sign. Just makes me wonder.
13 December 2009
No sleep...
So today has been a rough day. I barely slept last night. I couldn't stop thinking about everything and anything. Everyday I'm reminded that I think WAY too much and I need to calm the fuck down and take shit one thing at a time. I just get far too head of myself and get overwhelmed. FUCKING BRAIN!! MAY ZOMBIES NOM THEE!!
One of my biggest fears about the sewing is I'll lose my passion for it. I'll get burnt out from it and start to hate it. Designing things and bringing them to life is... it's a pretty special feeling. Especially when you are able to get your vision or recreation out pretty damn perfect. One of the best and most motivating things for me and making something for someone you love and getting to watch them enjoy it. Knowing you've made someone you love happy with something you've created is the most rewarding part of it. That's what keeps my doing what I do. So it makes me wonder if I would get burnt out from making clothing and costumes for a bunch of stranger whom may or may not appreciate my work. Would be a kick in the teeth to know it's just getting tossed around and disregarded like a piece of shit. To have your work unappreciated.. Shit like would kill the love for it.
So then it makes me wonder if I should just leave it as a hobby, are still with costume designing. Because at least with that, there is the research of creating the right costume needed and it's always something different. Not just making the same shirt over and over again or something like that. I like the idea of creating a one of a kind piece that may or may not take a while and moving on to other projects.
I've always dabbled in the idea of unique clothing. One of a kind garments and sell them off. At these then if someone sees it and really likes it and WANTS to buy it... you still have the satisfaction of making someone happy and your work is appreciated. I can get the art perspective in there as well. So I'd think it would be harder to get burnt out from doing shit like that. I'm thinking that is more my path. I like getting a sudden idea for a design and working them out to make them.
One of my biggest fears about the sewing is I'll lose my passion for it. I'll get burnt out from it and start to hate it. Designing things and bringing them to life is... it's a pretty special feeling. Especially when you are able to get your vision or recreation out pretty damn perfect. One of the best and most motivating things for me and making something for someone you love and getting to watch them enjoy it. Knowing you've made someone you love happy with something you've created is the most rewarding part of it. That's what keeps my doing what I do. So it makes me wonder if I would get burnt out from making clothing and costumes for a bunch of stranger whom may or may not appreciate my work. Would be a kick in the teeth to know it's just getting tossed around and disregarded like a piece of shit. To have your work unappreciated.. Shit like would kill the love for it.
So then it makes me wonder if I should just leave it as a hobby, are still with costume designing. Because at least with that, there is the research of creating the right costume needed and it's always something different. Not just making the same shirt over and over again or something like that. I like the idea of creating a one of a kind piece that may or may not take a while and moving on to other projects.
I've always dabbled in the idea of unique clothing. One of a kind garments and sell them off. At these then if someone sees it and really likes it and WANTS to buy it... you still have the satisfaction of making someone happy and your work is appreciated. I can get the art perspective in there as well. So I'd think it would be harder to get burnt out from doing shit like that. I'm thinking that is more my path. I like getting a sudden idea for a design and working them out to make them.
12 December 2009
And here...we... gooo
Well... my first blog. I thought this would help me to arrange my thoughts in a better manner and help clear out some of the shit cluttering my brain.
I guess what started it all was, a horrible realisation that dawn on me today at work. It's something that's always been there and that I've always known, but it's more like, the pieces came together... very clearly. I'm glad I had this realisation. It's a step closer in regaining myself, my heatlh and my happiness again.
To start from the beginning. I work in retail and I fucking hate it. I've been in it over five years. I never wanted to be in it but I had no choice. I hate the corporate world. And I really fucking hate this corporation I'm working for now. But, it's getting to the point where I can feel it changing me and how I am. Not just mental, but physically. Seems like I'm sick all the time and it's all because of the depression and anxiety caused by this job. And when I'm like that.. I can't eat. I can't keep anything down. The most I had today... half a bagel. That was at 7 am... it's now nearly 5 pm. Not good.
So, I'm not cool with. I worked hard on who and what I am and I'll be damned if anyone or anything is gonna change that.
This list is what hit home the most. What really set it in stone...
12 Signs it is REALLY Time to Leave Your Job
I experience at least nine of those things listed. And it's all true. I KNOW I'd be a lot happier if I was out of there. Problem is, I do not want another retail job. Fuck the corporate world altogether! But, unfortunately, with the world today, it revolves around money. On the plus side, I have a skill to help me....
I sew and design, anything and everything. Clothing, costumes, plushies, pillows, quilts, anything my twisted brain can conjure up. I have a diploma in Interior Design. But in this day and age, companies and employers want you to have the highest degrees possible just to do jobs. This is BULLSHIT! They don't care about your skills. They won't even look at your portfolio if youdon't have a degree. What the fuck?! When did this shit get so complicated?! What happened to the times when experience was more valued then a stupid piece of paper that says, "I'm thousands of dollars in debt and I wasted 2-4 years doing essays and have my ass stuck in a chair with my nose in a book." I just don't get it! But I digress...
So, I have a few ideas I hope will put me on the right track to achieve my goals... In no particular order....
1) Get more clothing and costumes made for an online portfolio.
2) Start making little things and selling them on Etsy.
3) Getting more commissioned work.
4) Start figuring out what aspect of sewing I enjoy most and go with that.
5) Make connections.
6) Get an adjustable dress form.
That is all I can think of right now. Baby steps. I'm not looking to become a world famous designer or anything. I just wanna be happy doing my thing and be able to support myself doing it. The biggest thing that needs to be done now though. Is get the fuck out of that job so I can be healthy and happy again. No shitty dead end job is worth it. That is gonna be a biggest weight off my shoulders and hopefully, everything else will fall into place. Other problem, it's gonna be a while before I can start make a decent living off the sewing. And for the sake of my health and well-being... I can't stay there any longer. I've sucked it up and bared with it for over 5 years. Enough is enough. My breaking point is now. So the biggest obstacle now is, if I can't make a decent living off the sewing yet, and I can't stay at my job... what do I do?
I guess what started it all was, a horrible realisation that dawn on me today at work. It's something that's always been there and that I've always known, but it's more like, the pieces came together... very clearly. I'm glad I had this realisation. It's a step closer in regaining myself, my heatlh and my happiness again.
To start from the beginning. I work in retail and I fucking hate it. I've been in it over five years. I never wanted to be in it but I had no choice. I hate the corporate world. And I really fucking hate this corporation I'm working for now. But, it's getting to the point where I can feel it changing me and how I am. Not just mental, but physically. Seems like I'm sick all the time and it's all because of the depression and anxiety caused by this job. And when I'm like that.. I can't eat. I can't keep anything down. The most I had today... half a bagel. That was at 7 am... it's now nearly 5 pm. Not good.
So, I'm not cool with. I worked hard on who and what I am and I'll be damned if anyone or anything is gonna change that.
This list is what hit home the most. What really set it in stone...
12 Signs it is REALLY Time to Leave Your Job
I experience at least nine of those things listed. And it's all true. I KNOW I'd be a lot happier if I was out of there. Problem is, I do not want another retail job. Fuck the corporate world altogether! But, unfortunately, with the world today, it revolves around money. On the plus side, I have a skill to help me....
I sew and design, anything and everything. Clothing, costumes, plushies, pillows, quilts, anything my twisted brain can conjure up. I have a diploma in Interior Design. But in this day and age, companies and employers want you to have the highest degrees possible just to do jobs. This is BULLSHIT! They don't care about your skills. They won't even look at your portfolio if youdon't have a degree. What the fuck?! When did this shit get so complicated?! What happened to the times when experience was more valued then a stupid piece of paper that says, "I'm thousands of dollars in debt and I wasted 2-4 years doing essays and have my ass stuck in a chair with my nose in a book." I just don't get it! But I digress...
So, I have a few ideas I hope will put me on the right track to achieve my goals... In no particular order....
1) Get more clothing and costumes made for an online portfolio.
2) Start making little things and selling them on Etsy.
3) Getting more commissioned work.
4) Start figuring out what aspect of sewing I enjoy most and go with that.
5) Make connections.
6) Get an adjustable dress form.
That is all I can think of right now. Baby steps. I'm not looking to become a world famous designer or anything. I just wanna be happy doing my thing and be able to support myself doing it. The biggest thing that needs to be done now though. Is get the fuck out of that job so I can be healthy and happy again. No shitty dead end job is worth it. That is gonna be a biggest weight off my shoulders and hopefully, everything else will fall into place. Other problem, it's gonna be a while before I can start make a decent living off the sewing. And for the sake of my health and well-being... I can't stay there any longer. I've sucked it up and bared with it for over 5 years. Enough is enough. My breaking point is now. So the biggest obstacle now is, if I can't make a decent living off the sewing yet, and I can't stay at my job... what do I do?
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